


sangyeon's peaceful morning

by jumils



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Crack, Dialogue Heavy, Dorm Life - Freeform, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Happy pride month, M/M, Nudity, Recreational Drug Use, Slice of Life, Sorry!, church boy jacob, ironic homophobia, it's not that graphic tho, just a bit, just a little bit though, like REAL dialogue heavy..., love island mentions, moonbae smoke weed, not in chapter 1 tho, shower scenes, that sunric shower scene, they basically spend 1 day comparing dicks, tw// mention of dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:49:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24841060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumils/pseuds/jumils
Summary: the boyz started their break and there is no better way to irritate sangyeon than to spend a whole day bickering about the size of their dicks. enjoy
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Kim Sunwoo/Son Youngjae | Eric, Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae/Lee Juyeon
Comments: 10
Kudos: 133





	sangyeon's peaceful morning

**Author's Note:**

> SIKE, CLICKBAIT TITLE!
> 
> hi everybody this is a crack fanfic so don't take it too seriously... we also wrote this in like 3 days so enjoy it i guess. happy pride month and #PENTAGONAPOLOGIZETOBLACKPINK
> 
> also we proofread it like 4 times but we probably missed a bunch of typos so sorry in advance if you happen to be the grammar police

Sangyeon had always adored summer, but today was the first day in weeks he was able to properly enjoy his favorite season.

The past few months were a hectic blur for the group: prepping for filming, devising and arranging performances, and pushing themselves until they were on the brink of unconsciousness.

In the end, it all paid off, and now that the weight of the reality show had been lifted from their shoulders, everyone could unwind and take some time to themselves.

Sangyeon especially took advantage of this. He hadn’t been able to sleep in and spend the late morning enjoying himself for a long time. The view of summer was a serene one: yellow light filtering through mint and emerald leaves, cotton-like clouds, and an array of colorful flowers scattered throughout Seoul’s urban scenery. 

The air was clear, and, for the first time in a while, so was Sangyeon’s mind.

He takes another sip of his green tea, indulging in the morning’s peace and qu—

“Between the two of us, who has the bigger dick?” asks Hyunjae as he and Juyeon barge in the kitchen.

And _there_ it is. 

“Fucking pardon?” says Sangyeon as he pinches his temples. 

“The correct answer is me, hyung,” Juyeon states. “C’mon, tell him.”

_“Why_ are you guys comparing cock sizes at 11 in the morning,” Sangyeon groans.

“He started it!” argues Hyunjae. 

“Hey, what’s going on in here?” questions Kevin as he and the other Canadian member stumble into the kitchen.

Moments ago, the air was clear, but now there’s a distinct, musty scent clouding the kitchen. Similarly, Juyeon and Hyunjae’s discourse—or rather, _dick_ course—was also clouding Sangyeon’s previously empty mind.

“Hey, why does it smell like weed in here?” ask Changmin and Chanhee as they also pile into the kitchen.

“I don’t know, maybe one of us was smoking weed,” Kevin says sarcastically, which results in Jacob punching him in the arm and shushing him.

“Okay guys, help us out,” says Juyeon. “Biggest cock: me or Hyunjae?”

“Me, duh?” says Changmin. 

“You’re not a contender,” hisses Hyunjae.

“I think I should be, though. Can I be a write-in answer?”

“What’s going on here?” asks Younghoon as he enters the kitchen to grab a snack. 

“Biggest cock between Hyunjae and I, go!” says Juyeon.

“Neither of you,” Younghoon says blankly.

Minutes later, maknae line arrives to join the rest of the members, much to Sangyeon’s discontent. 

_'So much for a peaceful and quiet summer morning,'_ the leader thinks to himself. 

“What are we talking about?” asks the youngest of the three as he grabs the fresh toast from the toaster.

“Hey, that was mine!” whines Younghoon as Eric takes a big bite from his bread.

“Oh whoops,” the maknae says with his mouth full, “Do you want it back?” The blonde holds the now-eaten bread towards his hyung, who simply shakes his head in disgust.

“I’ll just toast another one,” he says as he grabs another slice of bread from the bag.

“Anyway, so what’s hanging, my hyungs?” Eric asks as he does the shaka sign with his right hand.

“I don’t know guys,” Sangyeon says as he turns towards the other members, “Why don’t you guys include the maknaes in your conversation.”

“Gosh Sangyeon, stop trying to include everyone in everything! This isn’t some stupid church retreat group activity,” groans Kevin. 

The other Canadian turns towards him and gives him a perplexed look. “What do you think goes on at church retreats?” he says, raising the pitch of his voice towards the end of his question.

“I don’t know, Kumbaya and then orgies behind the altar,” Kevin says as he sneaks another hit of his vape, which instantaneously causes the leader to start coughing at the musty scent. 

“For fuck’s sake, Kev,” the leader chokes, “Can’t you do that shit outside?”

“I _would_ ,” the Candian says, “But now that we’ve won Road to Kingdom, we’re not flops anymore, so people might recognize me. If I get put on Dispatch, it’s not going to be because of weed, but rather because Jacob and I got caught giving handjobs to each other.”

“Kevin!” squeaks Jacob. “We have to keep it PG!”

“I am keeping it PG. Pretty Gay.”

Hyunjae clears his throat to turn the attention away from the Canadian homosexuals and back to him and Juyeon. “Anyway,” he says as he faces the three maknaes, “Who has the bigger dick: me or Juyeon?”

“Stop excluding me from the list!” whines Changmin. “I’m _at least_ in the Top 3!”

“ _You?_ In the _Top 3?”_ Haknyeon argues back. “Nah, if we include me you’re bumped down to fifth place at highest!”

“Oh shut _up_ , Hak,” snorts Chanhee. “Just because you’re packing in the back doesn’t mean you’re packing in the front.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure your fucking stage name is longer than your dick,” Sunwoo adds. 

“Stage name?” says the ‘99 liner. “Ju Haknyeon is my _real_ name, what do you mean?”

“Bye, that’s even worse.”

“I’m the only one in Korea named Ju Haknyeon.”

“You want a prize for being quirky?” says Sunwoo. “Well, I hate to break it to you, Hak, but it’s _not_ quirky. It’s longer than your dick and a pain in the ass to pronounce.” 

“I’d say Hak is around seventh place,” Younghoon chimes in for the first time in ten minutes. The rest of the group silently nods in agreement, much to Haknyeon’s annoyance.

“Okay, let’s keep ranking then,” Juyeon says. 

That moment, Sangyeon realizes that the members are going to keep at it until all eleven of them are ranked, so even though it’s barely noon, he reaches for a bottle of soju and dumps half of it in his cup of tea. If he’s going to have to listen to the younger ones whine and cry over who has the biggest dick, he might as well get tipsy and have a little fun while doing it.

“I won’t give specific measurements,” Jacob says hesitantly, “But just know it’s about the same size as Kevin’s.”

“I’m sorry, what?” 

“He’s not wrong,” Kevin adds before taking another hit.

“Well, Kevin’s definitely small as shit,” Sunwoo says.

“So that means Jacob is eighth and Kevin is ninth.”

After much bickering, Deo Boijeu concludes that Juyeon, Hyunjae, Sangyeon, and Changmin have the four largest dicks among the group.

“And _why_ am out of the top four?” puffs an annoyed Sunwoo. It was bad enough that he had to spend his breakfast listening to his dumbass members argue over something so immature and nonsensical, but it was even more insulting that his own members belittled the size of is cock.

“So you’re saying _Sangyeon_ has a smaller dick than you?” says Changmin.

“No, what the fuck, when did I say that?” snorts the younger. “I’m talking about you fools insinuating my dick is smaller than _Hyunjae’s.”_

“Because it is,” argues the blonde.

“Look, just because you’re first in line distributions, center time, _and_ screen time, doesn’t mean you’re first in our cock ranking either!”

“Your dick can’t be bigger than mine,” the blonde continues, ignoring the rapper’s argument. “Because mine is bigger than Juyeon’s, and there’s no way in hell yours bigger than _Juyeon’s._ ”

“I didn’t say that either. It goes Sangyeon, Juyeon, me, you.”

“Stupid millennial shithead!” Changmin says as he vigorously gets up from his seat and faces Sunwoo. “Why am I kicked out of the top four? Don’t make me call Loona! I know Chuu’s been itching to whip your ass!” 

“I’m just stating the facts, hyung,” argues Sunwoo. “And the fact is, my dick is bigger.”

“Why you—” Changmin is about to lunge forward and strangle the 00-liner, but just as he’s about to, Kevin takes another hit of his vape. The smoke clouds the entire room and gets in Changmin’s face, forcing the main dancer to sit back down and cough out the secondhand smoke. 

“Look,” begins Hyunjae as he gets up on a chair, “This debate has been cute and all, I think we can all agree that I have a bigger dick than Sunwoo.”

“You’re wrong,” the maknae calls out with a mouthful of toast.

A flustered and wide-eyed Hyunjae slowly gets down from the chair, unsure of how to interpret the information Eric just relayed to him.

_How the fuck does he know that?_

Sunwoo's signature smirk appears on his face as he munches on a piece of bread, looking directly into Hyunjae's eyes and feeling victorious. Eric couldn't care less about the age-old cock debate, so he just sits there and eats his food.

"How is Sunwoo, a 00 liner, going to have a bigger dick than me? Make it make sense, and quickly!" the older man whines, slamming his hands on the table.

''Hyunjae hyung, you do realize that that doesn't make any damn sense, right?'' Hak speaks up again, being shushed quickly by the blonde.

"I'm older. That's why I'm taller, prettier, and have a fatter cock." Hyunjae turns his head to face Juyeon, whose forehead vein is starting to bulge. "That goes for you too! I hope you realize that fans talk about your monster cock just because you look intimidating."

The blue-haired man quirks his head and bites his tongue, letting out a fake chuckle. 

"Take that back, you stupid Baekhyun imposter." 

"Make me."

"Alright, okay quit it already! Nobody wants to see you two fuck!” Chanhee intervenes quickly, getting in the middle of the two taller men who had started walking towards each other.

"We don't?" a voice says quietly, making some heads turn. Meanwhile, Hyunjae scoffs and goes to lean on the countertop, letting his hands rest on it. The blonde's expression bothered Juyeon. He looked too proud for someone who didn't even really win the argument. 

"Say, why don't we check then?" the dark haired man crosses his arms with a smug smile on his face. "Since you're so confident you won't mind, will you?" he continues, trapping his friend with his words. If he doesn't want to, he’s a major pussy with fragile heterosexuality, and if he does, he can blackmail him in the future and threaten to call Dispatch.

Obviously, and according to the main dancer's plan, Hyunjae looks panicked as soon as the idea is brought up. His eyes widen slightly and he inclines his head forward, as if asking to repeat the question. Juyeon's cocky smile turns into a full-on fuckboy grin, and the older man notices quickly.

_‘Oh, he's doing this on purpose,’_ the blonde thinks to himself, ‘ _He's trying to make me panic so he can say I'm afraid of the comparison’._ He realizes quite quickly and is able to recover himself from the toll that thinking of seeing his best friend's cock up close is.

"Alright then, if you say so." Hyunjae finally replies after clearing his throat, flashing a smile. Juyeon quirks an eyebrow and presses his tongue against his cheek, slightly mad that his plan didn't work.

"Um, hello? Are you guys gonna whip out your dicks right here?" Changmin asks genuinely terrified, because scary movies and possessed dolls weren't all that (it's simply his quirky boy aesthetic), but being forced to see Jujae's weiners was going to cause him actual trauma.

"Nan jigeum yeogi?" Eric jokes while the air is filled with tension, earning everybody's deadpan stare and a slap on the back of the neck from Sunwoo. "Aw, hey! I was just trying to be funny!"

"Well, try again." Sunwoo mocks the maknae with his mouth full of bread, getting instantly karma'd by Sangyeon hitting the back of his head.

“Anyway,” Eric said as he wiped his hands on the tablecloth, interrupting the emerging sexual chemistry between his two hyungs. “Between filming and participating in this completely irrelevant discussion, I haven’t had a chance to relax. So, I’m gonna go take a nap in my room.”

“And I’m going to join him,” Sunwoo says nonchalantly as he gets up from his chair to follow the other maknae. 

The other members remain quiet, eyeing the two maknaes suspiciously as they head to the bathroom together, and go back to whispering about them once they’re out of the kitchen.

“So, does this mean I’m not the token gay anymore?” Chanhee says dramatically.

“You really thought Sunwoo and Eric were straight?” Changmin asks. “I mean, Sunwoo I could understand, but _Eric._ Seriously Chanhee, _Eric_?”

“If you see Sunwoo and Eric at pride, don’t DM me,” Sangyeon sighs, his words slurring from the alcohol. “I already know.”

“God, not _another_ one,” Hyunjae mumbles under his breath. “We’re called The Boyz, not The Queerz.”

“Make that cereal joke again you little breeder and I’ll beat the shit out of you. What are you, a deobi? What’s next, TheDeonkis, huh?” Chanhee whines loudly, with a menacing tone. Hyunjae simply stares back, silent.

“Well, that just reminded me that I feel really gross,” says Juyeon. “So I’m gonna head up and get ready to shower.”

“So I don’t have to look at your dick?” says Changmin as his member heads out of the kitchen. “Thank goodness.”

It had been a long day, and Juyeon just wanted to relax in the shower and let the hot water cleanse and massage his sweaty skin. First, he goes to his dorm and gets himself undressed, wrapping a clean, white towel around his waist before heading to the bathroom. He enters the bathroom and notices it’s still clean, indicating Eric hasn’t showered yet despite him saying he would earlier. 

_‘Of course, he’s homosexual. What did I expect?’_

Just as he’s about to turn on the shower, his hyung barges in the bathroom with a stern appearance.

“For the record,” Hyunjae says sharply with his arm-crossed, “I have a bigger dick. That’s just a fact.”

Juyeon looks over his shoulder and gives the older a smug expression before unwrapping the towel from his waist and tossing the other end towards his direction.

“What do you say we recreate that move from _Checkmate_?” he asks sinisterly.

“What the hell does that have to do with who has the bigger cock?” Hyunjae says, forcing himself to not look down. He paints a cool and unconcerned facade, but he can feel his heartbeat accelerate as Juyeon casually raises his eyebrow at him. 

_He knows. He knows I’m panicking and he enjoys it._

“I guess you don’t have the balls then,” Juyeon laughs. “Checkmate.”

_But he’s had enough enjoyment for one morning._

Hyunjae glares at the younger before grabbing the end of the towel and pulling him closer until their chests are almost touching. Yes, he was straight, but he also wasn’t a coward. There was no way in hell he was going to let the younger member taunt him and get away with it. He grabs hold of the nape of Juyeon’s tanned neck, leaning in until his soft lips are almost touching the younger’s ear. “Checkmate would imply that I’ve lost,” he whispers back. “And as far as I can tell, I’m still in the game.”

The hyung’s actions catch Juyeon off guard for a moment, but he quickly catches his cool and pulls him closer. The older pulls away, but not because he’s scared or uncomfortable, but rather so he can undress himself.

Right here. Next to Juyeon. 

He turns around, only turning back to give Juyeon a playful smirk, while he unbuckles his belt and yanks his pants down. Juyeon doesn’t want to show it—he doesn’t want to give his hyung the satisfaction—but his heart is racing faster and faster as he watches Hyunjae take off his clothes. The older was surely milking the moment, because he was taking his sweet damn time getting naked, tormenting Juyeon even more. 

Finally, the blonde is fully undressed and he turns around to face the younger. He finally gives himself a chance to look down, but he’s taken aback once he sees the size of Juyeon’s massive member.

_‘Shit, he wasn’t lying!’_

“Actually,” Hyunjae says as he quickly grabs his clothes off the floor and covers himself, “I showered last night.”

“Pussy.”

“I don’t want to waste water, dumbass.” 

“Nah, you’re just intimidated by my cock, aren’t you?”

“Intimidated by a little string bean?” snorts Hyunjae as he pulls his pants back up. “Don’t be delusional.” Once he’s dressed he heads towards the bathroom door to excuse himself.

“Oh hyung!” Juyeon calls out right before Hyunjae can leave. The blonde momentarily glances back, giving the younger a piercing gaze.

“Checkmate,” Juyeon says satisfactorily. Hyunjae scoffs at the younger’s amusement before heading out of the bathroom.

_‘Well, that was fun,’_ Juyeon thinks to himself. He’s about to turn on the shower, but the door opens once again. Juyeon turns around and finds the maknae staring at him.

“Anyone in here?” Eric asks casually.

“What do you think, dumbass? Also, why the fuck would you ask that _after_ you entered the bathroom. Can’t you fucking knock?”

The younger shrugs. “Knock knock jokes aren’t really my thing.” Eric accidentally glances down, and he’s impressed by what he sees.

“Nice cock,” he says, nodding his head approvingly.

_“Just_ nice?” Juyeon teases.

“I mean, it’s a cock what else do you want me to say?”

“Say it’s bigger than Hyunjae hyung’s.”

“But I haven’t seen Hyunjae’s dick.”

“Well, he ran out of here once he saw the size of mine if that tells you anything.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Eric, you idiot, it means mine is more massive.”

“Cool.”

“It’s not _just_ cool,” Juyeon says, “It’s a historical moment that needs to be recorded forever. For years, Hyunjae and I have always been at each other’s throats, constantly trying to one-up each other.

Maybe it’s because our ages are so close. After all, our birthdays are only three months apart. Maybe it’s because we’re so similar, with being in the visual and dance-line. But for whatever reason, we always find ourselves bickering.

It’s the same force that defines soulmates. However, instead of being destined to be with Hyunjae or other romantic bullshit, we were destined to fight each other. 

But there was always the lingering question: Who was destined to win?

We had our battles. Some I won, some I lost bitterly. The times I lost hurt me like no other. Nothing made me more livid than watching Hyunjae’s cocky smirk as he smiled down on me like I was some weak, helpless prey. Knowing that he had this power over me caused my blood to boil.

But this cock debate? Knowing that I made him feel so-so _vulnerable_ and exposed? It resurrected me. Suddenly, all those continuous losses from the past years didn’t matter because I had hurt the one thing Hyunjae carried the most: his _pride._

And—Eric are you even listening?”

“Dasi tto press your number daedaphae jwo,” Eric murmurs to himself while bobbing his head to the music in his head. 

“Eric?”

“Sorry,” the maknae says after snapping back to reality, because he was _definitely_ zoning out during Juyeon’s long winded speech. “Were you saying something? Anyway, do you think if I befriend NCT Dream they can hook me up with a Taemin meet-and-greet?”

“Why Dream out of all the units?” Juyeon says as he pinches his temples. 

“They’re my age,” Eric says nonchalantly. “Yo Dream! Jjeojuro juja!”

“Can you censor yourself the next time you do that?”

“Why?”

“I hate them. Like, ‘nae mameun chewing gum?’ What the fuck does that even mean?”

“Right anyway,” the maknae says, ignoring his hyungs request. “Can I have dibs on the bathroom after you’re done?”

“Dude, can you at least let me get started?”

“Alright, alright, fine I’ll let you shower,” pouts the maknae as he leaves to let Juyeon get cleaned up. 

——————————————————

  
  


Finally, Eric thinks it's about time to actually shower and get cleaned after being all sweaty from the insufferable heat. His hyung had left the bathroom like five minutes ago, so it should be empty now. When he had gone to check on him before he didn't actually shower, so he really, really needs it right now. As he sees his older friend get out of the bathroom, he stands up and starts grabbing the shower essentials: his shampoo, towers, conditioner, and every other thing heterosexuals _definitely_ use. He takes his sweet time, because when he's heading to the bathroom there's someone on there already, door closed. He looks around and walks to the living room where half of the group is still chilling around.

"Guys who's showering right now?" Eric asks facing Hyunjae, but he seems cranky with his arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed, so there's a moment of silence until someone speaks out instead. 

_‘Wow, having a small penis really took a toll on him,’_ the maknae thinks to himself.

"Sunwoo, he just went in!" Changmin answers with a cute smile while looking up from his Switch for a second. "Hey, not fair, I wasn't looking!" he whines to Jacob, who is playing with him and just responds by chuckling.

Eric replies with a 'thank you' and heads to the bathroom again, not hesitating to open the door and leave his stuff on the counter while the water is running. Once he's completely naked, he gets in, scaring Sunwoo and making him jump a little bit.

"Ah, Eric!" the redhead almost shouts while putting a hand to his chest, but changing his facial expression quickly. "What are you doing here?" he then says coldly, not even looking at the younger one.

"What do you think you dumbass? I need to take a shower." the blonde lets out a giggle whilst getting his hair wet, stepping forward a bit.

"Thought you showered with Juyeon hyung." Sunwoo replies, dry as a heterosexual male texting back. Maybe this is why Chanhee didn't expect him to be a homo. Eric's expression turns confused for a second, but he realizes what's going on rather quickly. His mouth forms an 'o' and then it transforms to an evil grin.

"Ohhh, so you're jealous that I saw Juyeon's dick? Is that it? How cute, Sunwoo..." the maknae taunts, getting right in front of his bandmate still with that stupid cocky grin on his face. "Well, now that I've said it out loud it doesn't sound as innocent..."

The redhead simply gives his side-eye for a moment, trying to look angry. Then he goes right back to washing his hair, acting as if Eric wasn't pestering him.

"It's okay to be jealous, Sunwoo, it's even cute," the blonde goes on, leaning his back on the slightly cold tiles of the shower.

"I'm not jealous though?" Sunwoo replies with that mocking tone of his, finally looking him straight in the eyes. The youngest can't help but let out a chuckle that transitions into a full on laugh. Meanwhile, the older member is simply looking at him with a comedic annoyed expression, even sighing and putting his hands on his hips. Once Eric's loud laugh finally dies out, Sunwoo feels warmth around his neck and chest.

"You're so funny." the maknae says, hugging him and putting his hands around the older's neck. The redhead can't keep his angry facade up anymore and he breaks into a small smile while staring at the other. They stay like this for a second until Eric speaks out again. "We really should finish showering though." Sunwoo nods along and gets the blonde's products to help him out.

"Super take-care special toner for fried hair," Sunwoo reads out from the shampoo bottle in a commercial voice. "recover your healthy, natural hair in 3 weeks. Yeah right..."

"Hey, stop making fun of me and get to work!" Eric pouts, barely looking back.

"I can tell you've been using this tho." the elder singsongs as he pours a generous amount of shampoo on his hands.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Your hair is your natural color. Just like they say in the bottle." Sunwoo says, still in a musical tone, as he starts massaging the other's scalp carefully.

"Sunwoo. My natural hair is not blonde." the maknae snaps his head to look back, but the other quickly turns it around again using his foam covered hands.

"Prove it."

"What do you mean, prove it?!"

"Your roots are always blonde, too."

"That's because I take care of my hair!!!!!" Eric whines as he looks back again ready to throw a fit, but is rapidly turned around in a similar way too, Sunwoo shushing him.

"If you took care of your hair you wouldn't need to use Super take-care special toner for fried hair plus another 30 products, Eric."

"..................Touché."

——————————————————

“Damn, what are those two little homos doing on there? Taking a lifetime…” Haknyeon sighs loudly as he looks at the open door that leads to the corridor. Sunwoo usually showers in less than five minutes. Eric’s probably slowing him down.

“Really hope they’re not fucking right there… It’s a public space!” Changmin pouts, eyebrows furrowed.

“So you’re homophobic?” Kevin questions almost automatically.

“As if MoonBae hadn’t fucked in th-” Changmin and Sangyeon snap their heads quickly with a shocked expression towards Nyu.

“Hey, heyy!” Jacob quickly goes over to Chanhee to cover his mouth with his hands while the younger man looks at Kevin, challenging.

“Go ahead. As if I cared.”

“But I do! Chanhee keep quiet!” the other Canadian is pretty much begging at this point, still pressing his hand onto New’s face so hard that it might actually leave a mark. The pink haired member grabs his friend’s hand and drives it away from him.

“Um.. Hello?” Sangyeon clears his throat audibly in hopes that someone will explain the gay fuckery that is going on. Not only he has to put up with 10 annoying man children, but they are also _gay_ man children. Being the only straight person in the group is not easy. 

“You have to be kidding, Sangyeon hyung.” Chanhee laughs incredulously. “How are you not aware that you’re living in Love Island: Queer Dorm Edition™?”

“Are you insinuating that we’re British?” Kevin asks.

“No, y-”

“Please stop calling me slurs, Chanhee.” the Canadian boy interrupts even before New can reply. “I can only take so much hate.” he says as he dramatically puts a hand on his chest, pretending to faint.

“We’re done!” Eric declares cheerfully as he peeks his head through the door, Sunwoo following him and resting his head on the younger’s. They’re both wearing bathrobes, hair already dry, making it clear that they spent some extra time on there.

“Oh, Eric-ah!” Juyeon’s face lights up. “Whose dick is bigger, mine or Sunwoo’s?” he asks shamelessly, trying to taunt yet again an angry Hyunjae that was resting silently on the opposite couch.

“I’m not trying to embarrass anybody like that,” the blonde responds with a laugh, now aware of Hyunjae’s gaze on him. “both are good!” Sunwoo remains expressionless, while Juyeon mouths and ‘ahh’ and grins, letting his body fall back on the sofa. 

“Wait, you guys are gay for real?” Jae asks with a legitimately shocked expression. “I was rooting for you, Eric. Embarrassing me and my page…” he sighs, rubbing his temple with his fingers. 

“Acting as if you weren’t part of the community yourself, Hyunjae.” Kevin blurts out after a few coughs.

“What community? If it’s not the gamer one…” 

The two maknaes simply laugh it off and head off to Sunwoo’s room to get dressed up. As soon as they’ve left, Haknyeon gets up and starts walking towards the bathroom, only to be stopped by a grip on his shoulder.

“Hey, don’t you even think of going first.” Chanhee appears behind him like a shadow, his tone warning.

“But I-”

“So you’re being homophobic? During Pride Month?” the pink haired boy lets out a deep sigh, putting his hands on his hips and shaking his head. “I could not believe it.”

“I’m literally gay?”

“Your point?”

An exasperated Haknyeon grunts and goes back to his seat, not muttering a word. Chanhee flashes a smile and winks at him, mouthing ‘thank you’ before running off to the bathroom.

Nyu gets ready in record time, letting the water run for a bit until the temperature is just right (which means pretty much boiling, because whoever showers with cold water even in summer is a straight up fool) before hopping in.

After blanking out for a few minutes out of relaxation he starts washing his hair carefully, closing his eyes in the meantime and humming a song softly as the water clashes on the shower tiles loudly. Once he’s almost done, he grabs the shower head to rinse out his hair.

“Hey can you pass me that when you’re done?” a familiar voice asks to his right. He almost jumps, but thankfully he had felt some kind of warmth near him seconds before which made him kind of expect the jumpscare that was finding someone in the bathroom with you. He catches some water on his hands to wash his foam-covered eyes.

“And what the fuck are you doing here, Changmin?”

The other man tilts his head and smiles. “Well, I feel really gross and everybody is waiting for their turn,” he explains carefully. ”So,I figured I could shower with you to save some time!”

“Look that’s very nice and all but I want my own, personal time too.” Chanhee explains in the most polite way he can. “So get out of here before I beat your ass, Changmin!”

The younger boy pouts a bit but then nods with a smile, understanding his friend’s reasons to kick him out. He grabs a towel and covers himself to head to his room silently.

“Damn, now I feel bad.” Chanhee says out loud, looking at himself in the mirror now that the shower curtain is open. “Anyway!”

**Author's Note:**

> for legal reasons the beginning note's hashtag is a joke. anticipate chapter 2


End file.
